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The Number ONE Enemy Of Success (And How You Want To Befriend It!)

The Number ONE Enemy Of Success (And How You Want To Befriend It!)

On a recent interview, I was asked for my definition of success; it was not the first time I was asked that particular question, and over the years, my answer has remained the same: for me, success is living on purpose.


Living on purpose gives me the wealth (and you know that when I use this word, I mean way more than “cash”) that makes me successful. So, on one hand, it seems pretty straightforward, right? You want to be happy? Find your purpose, and success will follow. So, how come does it not really work out like this? It does not because, on the other hand, finding your purpose is not exactly the challenge… The challenge comes up with the decision to live your purpose.

And, some people don’t. Simply put, when you are not living on purpose, you are not successful, and you are certainly not happy. Now, we’ve all been unhappy before, so I want to focus on that time, and for some of you it would be right now, where you are unhappy, you’ve been unhappy for a while, and it seems like it is hard to go on… Can you relate? I know I can recall such a time.

It is a time, where you are unsure of what you want, not clear on what comes next, and feel this overwhelming sense of lack, and yet, you feel, this is because you don’t know what you want. It is an interesting phenomenon, and I’ve been there, because the truth is you do know what you want, but, and yes, there is a big but, you are scared of listening to your dreams.

And as you read this, you are probably thinking it is because you are scared of failing, but you know what I’ve discovered over the years is that there is a much stronger and more paralysing fear that the fear of failing: the fear of succeeding. That fear is your number one enemy of success; it can be so overwhelming, paralysing, and keeping you stuck, unable to move forward.

Did you know that I started my career in change management? And, I’m incredibly grateful to have been mentored by an amazing person, and one of the first things he taught me was to accept the fact that people do not like change, which then made it easier to put together a plan to help them move along the change continuum, and help them reach the other side. This was a priceless lesson, and to-date one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received.

It is true, right? Most people do not like change. Change is scary. Which explains, why we would stay in an uncomfortable situation and be unhappy and unsuccessful as somehow the fear of succeeding takes over, and stops you in your track, as you are fearful of the changes that making your dreams happen would bring forward.

So, where do we go from there?
We face our fear.

First, we come out with it. Listen, I am saying it loud and clear, and it is the first step. Accept where you are, and accept that it is a very common place, and that you can move forward from it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you can move forward, and when you decide to, you will.

Second, we demystify it. You see, what often happens, is that we hide (a bit like ostriches do when they stick their heads in the sand), so, demystify your fears by voicing them out loud; and, for extra impact, do it in front of the mirror. Stand, and say “I’m scared of…”.

Third, we push through it. I believe that fear lives in the walls of our comfort zone; do not settle for that box; settling will make you unhappy. So, push through, knock the walls around you, breakthrough your comfort zone, and reach your next level.

Fear is only your enemy as long as you dread it; befriend it today to support you on your success. Click to tweet!

Fourth, we befriend it. It is only your enemy as long as you dread it, so befriend it today, as you now know that for it to come up means that you are on your way to reach a new level, and that is extremely exciting, as a new level, means you living more on purpose!

Have that “go for it” attitude. The more you do it, the more you will be on purpose and thriving in your life, career, business.

Find your purpose by listening to your dreams.
Befriend your fears by living your purpose.
Your best moments are on the other side of your fears.

I cannot think of anything better than living on purpose; that wonderful sense of alignment and freedom, knowing you are doing what you want to be doing, for the reasons you want to, surrounding yourself with the people that matter most: in a nutshell, making it happen. That is success. That is living your life on purpose.

You are the driver of your life, career and business, and grabbing your goals with both hands helps you control the steering! Go for it!!!

It makes you think… Go for it, and share your stories. What do you think?

Please leave a comment and join the below conversation!

Until next time ;-)

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To your Mountain Moving Mindset,



What a wonderful surprise it was to discover that David Michael Moore had illustrated this blog`s quote!!!


You can follow David on Twitter here and see all of his illustrations here too.

Thanks David, truly appreciated and very special!!!

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Ronan Neacy

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Frederique lives her truth and is a vibrant presenter who has great passion, energy and positivity that is conducive to creating real change.” Mary Devine

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Dominika Miernik

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Carolyn Blunt

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Gene Early

By day 3 of the event, I was utterly exhausted and finding it hard to fully believe that everything was possible. Then Frederique came on stage, and it was like having sunshine pouring off the... Judith Townshend

Judith Townshend

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Sandra Louise Walsh

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Junior Chamber International Dublin

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Karen Leech

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Michele Rosenthal

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Ntathu Allen

I flew into Ireland for the event and the value I received from attending the event was amazing: I am totally focused and inspired now to achieve my goals. Anne Perez

Anne Perez

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Silvia Pencak

Frederique is the best at what she does; getting to the core of your limiting beliefs and helping you to stand in a more powerful place. Michele Welch

Michele Welch

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Amy Brann

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Elaine Rogers

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Kate Cobb

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Gertrude Lawler

Frederique is an inspiration, an expert in her field and a lovely person who is passionate about helping people to realise their potential. Sue Cartwright

Sue Cartwright

Frederique’s talk was a unique and unforgettable experience. Her style was very captivating and she put her message across clearly and emphatically. Justine McGrath

Justine McGrath

She knows how to provide the BEST support and instils her own passion, inspiring you to not only do a good job, but become the best at what you do. Breda Stackpool

Breda Stackpool

Frederique really does deliver on her promise of high quality content that will have you heading in the direction you need to be heading. Mairéad Kelly

Mairéad Kelly

Despite technical glitches, Frederique engaged my audience, inspired them, and strengthened the objective of the conference. Amy A. Palmer

Amy A. Palmer

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Tracey Wall

The fact that I now feel confident about taking the entrepreneurial leap is invaluable for me. I no longer fear the venture but instead I make things happen. Zoe Nowak

Zoe Nowak

Frederique is a committed, creative hardworking and compassionate coach whose upbeat positivity directly impacts anyone that chooses to engage with her. Brian Colbert

Brian Colbert

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Poll Moussoulides

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Rob Marr

Frederique makes me believe that it's actually possible. I have confidence that I am capable of taking charge of my own life! Lauren Methena

Lauren Methena

Within 20 minutes we had a clear plan on how to solve a specific business problem I have been struggling with for months. Linda Spaanbroek

Linda Spaanbroek

Frederique is intelligent, skilled and highly motivated. She is inspiring to know and has a great ability to positively enhance the lives of those she works with. Owen Fitzpatrick

Owen Fitzpatrick

I had so many breakthroughs. I’ve been to so many courses before and breakthroughs just didn’t happen. This time, it was just absolutely amazing. Fiona Walsh

Fiona Walsh

Frederique brings a true passion, conviction and total integrity to her work. It's been transformative both for myself and my business. Sean O'Sullivan

Sean O'Sullivan

I discovered it doesn’t matter what your goal is. Frederique can get you there. I found it really incredible. Paddy Lavelle

Paddy Lavelle

Frederique has helped me hugely to see a much bigger picture than I ever imagined before I came. I owe her a great deal: Frederique is quite exceptional. Rita Marshall

Rita Marshall

It’s useful to be reminded that anything is possible, and that the way to create the life of my dreams is to keep going, believing, taking action and being me. Bennie Naudé

Bennie Naudé

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Siobhán Guthrie

Frederique has a magic quality. When you’re in her presence she just helps you to think bigger – so much bigger that you dare dream possible. Bernadette Doyle

Bernadette Doyle
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