I often draw inspiration from my audience when I write my articles; whether it is a live audience or an online one, your questions and challenges matter to me. And, this article is a direct answer to a question I’ve received from one of my M3 Power Community members. I had just shared this quote: To get results, you must have that unshakeable belief you truly believe you can make it happen. And, this member reached out and asked: “How do I get back to a place of believing that I can? With all of the personal setbacks, I’ve kinda lost my belief in myself which is my biggest stumbling block.”
This is an incredible question asked by an incredible person, who reached out to protect their dreams by finding a solution to their problem. And, I have to tell you this (and I am sure it won’t be much of a surprise!): when I speak, when I train, when I coach, when I write, I do it from the heart, and this particular question really had a deep impact on me, as I believe, with all of my heart, mind and body, that our beliefs are critical to our success, and in this case, our self-belief.
So, what happens when we lose it? When we stop believing in ourselves, we negatively impact absolutely everything that matters to us. I cannot think of anything else more terrible than that. And, one of the driving forces of my business and my Mountain Moving Mindset platform is to ensure I am out there helping people push through that and believe that they can, and even further, that they can achieve what they initially thought was impossible.
[pullquote]When you stop believing in yourself, you negatively impact absolutely everything that matters to you. Click to tweet! [/pullquote]
This is striking a cord, as I can personally tell you what happens, because I have been in that situation. And, I know that many of you reading this right now, also know what it feels like to have lost that confidence, to have that low self-belief, to have that doubt in the pit of your stomach, to have that uncertainty that makes your feet wobbly, and I want to provide you with this series of 7 keys, so that you can apply them to push through this, boost your self-belief and self-confidence, and continue to make it happen.
As important as it is going to be to provide you with a series of strategies to help you with your self-confidence itself, it actually would be an incomplete way to overcome this challenge. Indeed, first and foremost, we need to tackle the healing. Trust me on this: ignoring that point would be like not disinfecting an open wound and applying straightaway a bandage to cover it up: it does not work in the long-term, and would not serve you.
When we lose our self-belief – as indicated in the text that provides some context to the question, it is very often following up one or several negative experiences. These setbacks, these failures, these stumbling blocks, or how I call them, these challenges do happen to us and can knock us down. And, it is important to face these with this 7-step process (my very own personal and proven one), so that you tackle and overcome these and move forward.
This process starts as soon as you commit to start it; it can be right after one of the negative experiences, or it can be later: the decision is entirely yours; what’s important to note is that, in my experience, the faster you apply it, the less time you get to let these negative experiences result in lowering your self-belief more and more as each day passes.
Ok; are you ready and committed to start? To make the best of it, think back of a negative experience you feel is still weighting you down; have it? Let’s go…
For years, I thought that being angry was to be avoided at all costs, and I was wrong. Use that anger to your advantage: something negative did happen and it makes absolute sense for you to be angry. Now, use it to fight. Whatever has happened, you are still here. Remember, that adversity only wins when you let it win, so don’t. I know it is a vulnerable time, and it is a time to decide what it is going to be. It is normal to be angry, do not cover it up, and instead channel this to take a stand and FIGHT.
Your anger has served you, and it needs to be released now to progress further. Whatever has happened, an event, a person, a situation, be thankful to it. I know, it is a hard step. Start with being thankful it made you stronger. And, just so that we are clear: being thankful does not mean that you approve of what has happened; it does however mean that you accept it did, so that you can take that control back. These events, people, situations do not deserve to have any power over you. It happened, and you can shift to a place of thanks for having made you stronger and THANK.
Take stock. Whatever has happened, ask yourself: what can I learn from it? I believe that challenges make us stronger by teaching us lessons. I can think back of all of the negative experiences in my life and identify at least one lesson per event that has served me later on my journey. This is an impactful way to shift this around even more, as out of a negative experience, you can find a positive one. Remember, there is at least one silver lining in any situation but you will only find it if you look for it. It is time to learn from it now and GET UP.
We are half way through, and this is a pivotal moment. It is time to let go. The instant you decide to let go of whatever it is you need to let go of to progress you will. You need to decide that it is now time to step out of that victim role. I know, I’ve been there. Yes, things happened. Yes, it hurt. Yes, it is time to let it go. Think of it that way, whatever has happened, you let it impact you on your timeline. So, it is time. That negative experience has had enough power over you. It happened: let go of the past and focus on the empowering fact that you can do everything you want to shape your future and LET GO.
Sometimes our beliefs are weight down by a bunch of stuff. But, the great news is that there are still there. It is a matter of removing the stuff we’ve put on top, and certainly the past 4 steps have been tremendous in achieving this. So, it is time to reconnect with that self-belief. Whether you’ve asked that question or thought of it but did not ask, you are reading this right now, and it is a strong indication that you are reaching out. That is linked to your self-belief: it is here, still in you, as you know you can because you’ve done it before. You know where it is as you can feel it. Connect and BELIEVE.
This is the time for complete integration. It happened. You got angry, and you turned it around to give you that oomph you needed to continue. Next, you released that anger by giving thanks to take back control over this negative experience to continue. Next, you learned from it and took stock on at least one lesson that will serve you to continue. Next, you freed yourself from that negative experience and let go to continue. Next, you reconnected with that inside feeling, that feeling that you know that you can because you’ve done it before to continue. And, next you assimilate, you have all of the pieces and it is time to pursue your dreams and ROAR.
You’ve done the inside work, you are ready, you are roaring and it is time to take action. Your dreams deserve your dedication & commitment. Go make it happen and ACT.
Plus, the twist!!!
To wrap it all up, in my very own M3 Power way, here is a twist based on the neuroscience behind music. Did you know that music is an incredibly powerful tool? There has been many studies, and we know that music changes your brain wave states to help you release tension, boost your awareness, enhance your inspiration and motivation, and help you assimilate information better.
So, we’ve now discussed 7 keys to help you overcome negative experiences to push through these, boost your self-belief and self-confidence, and continue to make it happen. So, let’s make it even more impactful, shall we? Here is my personal music playlist, where each of the songs embodies each of the keys I’ve just shared with you:
What doesn’t kill you, Stronger (Kelly Clarkson)
Fighter (Christina Aguilera)
Titanium (David Guetta (feat: Sia)
Let It Go (Idina Menzel)
Believe (Suzie McNeil)
Roar (Katy Perry)
I Gotta Feeling (Black Eyes Peas)
Download or access each of these; put them together in your very own playlist and do keep the order. Then, whenever you need, turn up the volume, and listen to these 7 songs. Be as free as you want as you listen, and yes, that means that if you want to move, move; if you want to cry, cry; if you want to laugh, laugh; if you want to sing, sing; if you want to dance, dance. Whatever works for you!
There were times when I listen to this specific set several times a day (and night), and now, it has become part of my daily routine. So, at the very minimum, I listen to these, once a day: it grounds me; it reminds me of what is important; it energises me; it spurs me on!!! And, yes, I will move, cry, laugh, sing and dance along.
Integrate this process as part of your regular M3 success routine, and move your mountains.
What do you think? I’d love to hear from you! Apply this process and let me know how it’s helping you move forward.
Please leave a comment and join the below conversation!
Until next time
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To your Mountain Moving Mindset,