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5 Words That Block Your Success (I Stopped Using Them All, Especially #3!)

5 Words That Block Your Success (I Stopped Using Them All, Especially #3!)

I truly believe that words are powerful, and if you are a member of my M3 Power Community, you particularly know that, since we start every week together with a handful of words shared by me to either challenge you, motivate you, energise you, or all of these. These words act as an inspiring nudge to help you start your week the M3 way.

 

The reason why this is so important is that your words shape your reality. Your brain listens and believes everything that you think and say. This means that your words either ignite or extinguish your next action. It is time to pay attention to your language, so that it supports you as you lead your life, career, and business.

There are words that we use that support us, while other words simply block our success. View these as little hammers, and every time you use one of these success blocker words, you beat one of your dreams, one of your goals, to the ground. Not good, right? So, let’s stop that.

Your brain believes everything you say, explaining why your words either ignite or extinguish your next action. Click to tweet!

 

Here are 5 of the words and expressions that both from personal experience and working with my clients, I hear again and again, and I reframe these again and again as these are sabotaging your success. I used to use these words myself (you’ll even see how avoiding #3 to this day has made the most impact to me achieving my vision and reaching goal after goal. It is an ongoing strategy, when every time you say such and such word, you take it upon yourself to immediately swap it; the swap allows you to reframe and send a more positive and empowering message to your brain.

#1 You say: “I’ll try it.”
Every time you say I’ll try it, you are sending mixed and negative messages to your brain, as in, “I’ll try, but really, it is only a try, nothing is set in stone…” There is a big difference between trying to do something and doing something. Think about it, when the minister or mayor asks you “Will you take XXX to be…”, you don’t reply, I’ll try, right? 😉 You reply I do. Apply the same commitment to your actions. So, I say: Stop saying, “I’ll try it.” and Swap it with “I’ll do it.”

#2 You say: “I should do it.”
Every time you say I should do it, you are sending mixed and negative messages to your brain, as in, “I should do it, but really, only doing it because I feel I have to…” There is a big difference between feeling like you have to do something because of an external pressure and deciding because you are choosing to do something. Think about it, you want your decisions and actions to come from within; you are deciding and acting upon such and such thing to progress along your journey. So, I say: Stop saying, “I should do it.” and Swap it with “I’m choosing to do it.”

#3 You say: “If this happens, I’ll do that.”
Every time you say If this happens, I’ll do that, you are sending mixed and negative messages to your brain, as in, “Ok, I’ll do that if this happens, but in fact, not sure this will ever happen, so not sure I’ll ever do that…” There is a big difference between imagining something could happen may be one day and visualising something you know will happen. Think about it, you make it happen by believing, deciding, committing, and taking actions towards your dreams, so it is a matter of when, not if. So, I say: Stop saying, “If this happens, I’ll do that.” and Swap it with “When this happens, I’ll do that.” This is the swap that to-date has had the most impact on me, as by systematically doing this swap, I make my dreams more palpable and real, and reach my goals one after the other.

#4 You say: “I’m just a…”
Every time you say I’m just a…, you are sending mixed and negative messages to your brain, as in, “I’m not good enough, I’m just a…, and people should not pay that much attention to me.” There is a big difference between introducing yourself in such a way that you give others permission to dismiss you and introducing yourself with pride. Think about it, everything you put after your name will actually never be enough. You are so powerful: the only limits you have are the ones you have chosen to label yourself with. So, I say: Stop saying, “I’m just a…” and Swap it with “I’m a proud…”

#5 You say: “I don’t have the time to do it.”
Every time you say I don’t have the time to do it, you are sending mixed and negative messages to your brain, as in, “I have the time, I have 24h in a day like everybody else, but I’m not changing my plans to make it happen…” There is a big difference between using the time excuse to not do something and seeing behind the excuse, as in stop buying into it, and discovering what’s really stopping you from doing it. Think about it, you always find the time to do what you really want to do. So, I say: Stop saying, “I don’t have the time do it.” and Swap it with “I’m not making the time to do it.” This will help you shift responsibility to yourself, and in many cases, drives you to go beyond the no time excuse, and push through to make it happen.

These words for many of us are part of our everyday language, and you might be using these dozens and dozens of time per day. I could say eliminate these today, but you know what, I know that this would not be as effective (plus, it’d also break your flow as you’d feel pressured and restricted), so instead, I want you to focus and interrupt your behaviour and your speech pattern, so that every time you catch yourself saying one of these words, you immediately consciously realise what you are doing and stop, and swap the word, thus reframing it instantly and sending the right supportive message to your brain.

This “Say It, “Stop It”, “Swap It” strategy will have the greatest impact on your life, career, and business, when you consistently apply it. And, let’s fast forward a bit, as this is how fascinating our mind is, as the more you do these swaps, the more engrained the new speech pattern will become, and the less you’ll have to swap as you’ll realise that you are not triggered as much to launch that strategy. Think about it this way, when you don’t say it, you don’t have to stop it and swap it, which brings you exactly where you want to be.

Start today paying attention to your language, so that instead of self-sabotaging your success by using these harmful words triggering a harmful reaction, you start using these powerful swaps that will support you on achieving your vision, and reaching goal after goal.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you! Which of these did you realise you had been using? Which of these swap(s) will you use from today onwards?

Please leave a comment and join the below conversation!

Until next time ;-)

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To your Mountain Moving Mindset,
Frederique

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Some of the comments received via Twitter:

 

  • Vicky Fraser

    Great advice Frederique. I’m guilty of numbers 1 and 5 – particularly number 5, although I know it’s that I’m not making time and I’m not being as productive as I could be.

    Here’s another one – for when you’re talking to others. Eliminate the word ‘just’. E.g. “I just thought I should tell you”. It sounds uncertain; like you think you might be bothering someone, when actually you wouldn’t be telling them if it wasn’t important. Stop apologising for giving information. I find myself constantly deleting the word ‘just’ from my emails – my confidence is growing all the time, but sometimes I just need a little reminder.

    • Hi Vicky,

      Thanks for the comment.

      Glad you’ve enjoyed the read. You know, we’ve all done these, so let go of any guilt by instead placing your focus on catching yourself up in the act, and immediately swapping your language pattern, that’s where your mind power lies.

      Talking about productivity, you might enjoy this previous article of mine: http://frederiquemurphy.com/boost-your-productivity-one-sticky-note-at-a-time/

      And, thanks for expanding on #4: I LOVE how you share your strategy of double checking your use of the word “just” before sending any communications out and eliminate the “just” instances, that’s super. You are right that tiny word has a huge impact on our self-worth and it is worth paying attention to it.

      Have an outstanding weekend,
      Frederique

  • Ellen Towne

    I like #2 I’m choosing to do it is a hard one for me. Sometimes I dont always get the support I need and these words sound affirmative. #5 helps me say I’ll make time or regroup with a contugency plan. Mornin to everyone. I needed that help on one of my busiest days of the year. Thx!

    • Hi Ellen,

      Thanks for the comment, and the email: I’m delighted this was so timely for you, and so useful!

      Use that swap, #2, as many times as you need, and you might even want to write the swap “I’m choosing to do…” on a sticky note and have it near you; it will help reinforce the message.

      I agree, #5 really helps you put things into perspective and allows you to step in and step up if you want to and follow though with an action.

      Have a productive and fulfilling day,
      Frederique

  • I love these Frederique and must start thinking about what I say to be more positive. One thing I used to say when phoning friends was “It’s only me” – and someone pointed out to me that those words made it seem like I wasn’t important to myself. I did filter that out but it was years ago and your post has made me realise that’s crept back into my vocab again – must stop that immediately. Thanks for the reminder

    • Hi Sian,
      Thanks for the comment.

      Delighted you love it, and have now started to consciously think about what you say, that’s EXACTLY why I wrote this post and actually built my Mountain Moving Mindset platform. You know, I always say, if Mindset had an A, it would be for Awareness, as it always starts there.

      And, thanks for sharing, another one; it is very much aligned with #4, “just me” or “only me” does impact our self-worth and esteem. Great to remove it from our vocabulary for sure.

      Have a superb Tuesday,
      Frederique

  • Karen McCarthy

    Love it!

    • Hi Karen,

      Thanks for comment, glad you loved it!

      Have an outstanding weekend,
      Frederique

  • Great article Frédérique! As an Energy Healer and NLP practitioner, I always start with listening to people’s story. And generally people don’t hear themselves speaking. A lot of them describe situations where they have someone who is a “real pain in
    the neck” (or in another part of their anatomy), or they might say “I got so scared that I nearly wet myself”. And in most cases, these clients are coming to me for issues affecting these very parts of their anatomy. So I always say: “watch what words you use and be nicer to yourself!” Our words go straight into our subconscious mind where they are taken literally.

    • Hi Véronique,
      Thanks for the comment.

      Glad you’ve enjoyed it! And, thank you for sharing your insights too; it is great for the other M3 Power Community members to read and share your experiences. You’ve heard me say that before: our language is SO important and you are right, the idioms and expressions that we are choosing to use often say a lot more 😉

      Have an outstanding weekend,
      Frederique

  • Vicky Ford

    Just being aware of these phrases and how they can create a reality we don’t necessarily desire is so empowering! Thank you!

    • Hi Vicky,

      Thanks for the comment; delighted you are finding this article beneficial. And, remember, that our brain is so fascinating that the more aware you become of these words and phrases and interrupt & swap these as you say these, the less you’ll have to do it!

      Have a spectacular weekend,
      Frederique

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